As I ride
Today was my last day of my first year of graduate study at CAL. I was thinking about how to express in words the emotions that I feel. I think there is a sensation of excitement, and relief, both are qualified by the tension that still lies in my shoulders. If there is one place that I embody all of my emotions, I’d say it is in the shoulders. They have taken on a mind of their own. And many times they stand fixed, at attention, posted at orange level alert.
My first day, I rode my bike to school. This probably wouldn’t be special at all except that I haven’t ridden the bike since then, literally. I rode, and I arrived at class 10 minutes late. I was hot, and flustered so I made a detour to splash my face with cold water. When I arrived in class everyone was introducing themselves. I said, “My name is Aaminah, this is my first class and my first day.” Woww, that seems like a lifetime ago. I decided that I wouldn’t ride literally, because I felt like I was on another ride. Now that the year is over I have learned many things including this:
Before I began graduate study my life was on a similar bike trail. One that I might say, was steep, and windy, and filled with sound, and light, and love. I suppose that now I see myself still on that trail, but it’s opened up and there is a wider lane. I have come across so many other travelers this year. There are some who have traveled this way and are long gone. As I read about them, I gain inspiration in my journey. There are others, who left dense brush for me to ride through. And at times, grappling with it was, in a word…hard. I have attempted to prove myself this year. To prove to myself, and to others, that I can make it. Well, here I am. I made it. I will ride my bike literally this summer. I will do so in preparation for next year’s figurative trail. I want to thank all of those who have supported me on this journey. It has been a pleasure, and I think I can turn my shoulder alert down to yellow. I hope they are paying attention.